


"Nice Brian," and other misunderstandings

by quantumducky



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Miscommunication, brian having no tact because lying is wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-24 03:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23369872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumducky/pseuds/quantumducky
Summary: Shortly after joining the Mechanisms, Marius psychoanalyzes a chair, gets brutally roasted, and finds out exactly how simple Brian's morality settings aren't.
Relationships: Drumbot Brian & Marius von Raum
Comments: 27
Kudos: 156





	"Nice Brian," and other misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

> this was just supposed to be an excuse to talk about my brian headcanons and then somehow it was 2000 words long and had something resembling an actual plot

Marius was psychoanalyzing a chair when he realized someone was staring at him.

In his defense, one: the chair had definitely moved when he wasn’t looking. Two: it had made him stub his toe on it. Three: if it was doing things as malicious as that, it _clearly_ had some issues it needed to work through in a healthy fashion, rather than taking out its negative emotions on innocent unsuspecting space pirates. Despite the injury it had just caused him, Marius was a generous person and was more than willing to help, and he had just gotten into the flow of lecturing it when it came to his attention that he was being watched.

He turned around suspiciously. He had only been on the Aurora for about a week, but that was long enough to learn that ignoring people who had walked up behind you was sometimes a good way to get temporarily killed. He let out a relieved breath when he saw that the person standing there, watching him with arms crossed, was Brian. In Marius’s experience, he was by far one of the most civilized people in the crew, and more likely to make pleasant conversation than commit random violence. Even better, a surreptitious glance at the Drumbot’s morality switch revealed that he was currently in what Marius had heard the other Mechanisms refer to as Nice Brian mode, usually in tones of distaste. This didn’t explain why he was standing there watching Marius psychoanalyze a piece of furniture, but it did at least suggest that the reason didn’t involve his imminent death.

Marius waited a few seconds to see if he wanted something, and also to gauge exactly how much of that monologue he’d heard. It was difficult to tell with the lack of expression on his face. Brian didn’t say anything, so apparently the small talk was going to be left up to him if he didn’t want things to remain as awkward as they currently were.

“Hello,” he ventured.

“Hello,” Brian replied, pleasantly enough.

Marius, encouraged, went on. “Um… Why were you staring at me?”

“Oh, right, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was just thinking that you’re an idiot, and wondering what the point is of you being here when none of us have any need for a _real_ doctor, much less a fake one, and we’ve already got a violinist.”

…What the fuck?

“What the _fuck?_ I thought you were supposed to be _nice_ right now, why would you say that?”

Brian sighed. “I keep _telling_ them to stop calling it that, it’s not a _niceness_ switch, they’re just different approaches to morality.”

“And, what, the one you’re on now tells you it’s fine to say shit like _that_ to people?”

“Well, you did _ask._ It would have been wrong to lie.”

Marius could _feel_ his expression drop. He knew, okay, he knew none of these people trusted easily, and it would take a while for them to really warm up to him. But _that?_

He pulled his defensive mask back up and laughed bitterly. “Well. Good to know how you really feel, then. If anyone needs me- which I’m well aware they never will, thanks- tell them to find me outside.” He started walking, away from that goddamn chair and away from the possibility of Brian seeing the hurt tears he was blinking back.

He could hear Brian trying to follow him. “Marius, we’re nowhere near a planet, you can’t just _go outside!”_

“Can so.” He knew that was childish, he just didn’t care. “Rather be floating in space than having this conversation any longer. Why should you care, anyway, if you hate me so much?”

In the next moment, the breath was nearly knocked out of him, and he stumbled to a halt. It took him a bit of processing to realize Brian had caught up and wrapped his arms around his chest.

“What are you-”

“I don’t _hate you,_ Marius. Let me explain.”

Marius wanted to tell him to fuck off, he’d said enough already, he didn’t want to hear any more. But it didn’t seem like Brian was planning to let him go anywhere, and now that he thought about it flinging himself into space out of spite was a really stupid plan, especially when no one would probably care and it would just be unpleasant for nothing. So, after a long, tense moment of silence, he finally said, “Fine. Explain.”

He expected Brian to let go, step away from him, and start talking. Instead, Marius found himself being dragged along to the kitchen, pushed into a chair, and handed a mug of cocoa. He wasn’t sure what to do other than let it happen in quiet bewilderment.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Brian said upon sitting down across from him.

“Really.” Marius sounded as unimpressed as it was possible to sound while utterly confused and holding cocoa.

“Yes, _really._ It wasn’t _personal.”_

“Right,” he sighed, trying not to let his posture start mirroring how small he currently felt. “You were just being _honest_ about thinking I’m a useless idiot who doesn’t belong on this ship.”

“That isn’t what I said.”

“But it’s what you meant, isn’t it? Look, I’ll stay put and, y’know, just stay out of everyone’s way until we get to a planet, if you feel so strongly about it. Are we done here?”

“No,” Brian insisted. _“Listen_ to me, will you? You said you would let me explain.”

“Didn’t seem like you were actually doing any explaining,” he muttered for the sake of getting the last word in, but still sat back and let him talk.

“Okay. Do you know what I honestly think of Jonny?” Marius did not. “I think he’s a fucking asshole. Most insufferable person I’ve ever met. My life would be infinitely easier without him in it. And when I’m not literally incapable of it like I am right now, I would kill for him.”

“Okay…?”

“The point I’m trying to make here, Marius, is there isn’t a single person on this ship I would not insult both honestly and brutally if they asked me what I thought of them; you’re all annoying bastards. You’re just the one who hasn’t learned not to ask about it yet.”

Marius wasn’t entirely sure that reasoning made sense, but he also wasn’t sure how to argue otherwise. He was still thinking about it when Brian leaned over and patted him on the shoulder.

“Is there anything else I can do to make this better?”

He thought about it, and- wait a minute. “You could try actually _apologizing,_ for one.”

Brian sounded nothing but sympathetic as he replied, “It wouldn’t be right to tell you I regret what I said if it isn’t true, and I can’t regret being honest with you as long as I still think it was the most moral choice.”

Marius buried his face in his hands with a deep sigh. “Of course.”

“…Anything else _other_ than that?”

He thought about it again, for long enough that Brian must have been wondering if he had decided to simply ignore him. To be honest with _himself,_ he was still pretty upset, and probably would be for a while. But… all this aside, Brian was still one of the more decent crew members, and Marius would rather not throw out a potential friendship over one rude statement which, if Brian’s explanation was to be believed, he hadn’t been able to help. Marius still didn’t really get how that worked, but… well, maybe if he did it would be easier to forgive him?

“Can you tell me more about how that switch of yours works?”

Brian agreed readily- it seemed _he_ would be quite happy to have someone around who actually bothered to _understand_ how it really worked, who wouldn’t ask him to do things he wasn’t presently capable of and then get annoyed when he refused. He talked about how he had come to be like this, and Marius listened and drank his cocoa, which he had to admit was actually very good. Especially for being made by someone who may or may not have had a working sense of taste.

“So… you’re saying your entire worldview is what it is because this Carmilla lady thought it would be _funny?_ That’s… pretty fucked up.”

Brian shrugged. “She did a lot of things that were pretty fucked up. Being alive as long as she has messes with your sense of perspective when it comes to other people, I think. I’ve learned to deal with it for the most part.”

“How’s that?”

“Did you know that firing a gun is not an inherently immoral act? As long as I’m not _trying_ to hit anyone, it’s not my fault if they happen to be standing in the way.”

Marius was startled into laughing. “What, really? _That’s_ a loophole?”

“Inaction is always fine, too. I can stand by and watch _Tim_ blow up an entire planet all I want on this setting, as long as I’m not participating. In fact, I’m pretty sure it would be wrong of me to force him to stop. Deontology is weird, Marius.”

He nodded solemnly. “It certainly is.”

“But, uh, yeah, that’s why I insulted you earlier, and why I can’t feel bad about it. I’m sure I’ll be very sorry next time the switch gets flipped, if it makes you feel any better.”

“It might,” he admitted. “So, the other setting… ends justify means? I don’t know why you don’t just stay on that one. Seems a lot easier to work with, if you can do whatever you want as long as you’re working toward a goal.”

“Well- not exactly.” Frustration flickered over his metal face. “Everyone seems to _think_ it works like that, which is why I _don’t_ stay like that if I can help it. I can’t just do whatever, okay, the end result still has to be something _good._ If it’s not going to end well, _I can’t do it.”_

Marius frowned. “How are you supposed to know? I mean, it’s not like you can-”

“Oh, have I not told you I can see the future?”

The only thing stopping him from being certain this was a joke was the knowledge that Brian couldn’t say anything untrue right now if he wanted to. “What.”

“I have… prophetic visions. Sometimes.”

_“Why have you not mentioned this before?”_

“It hasn’t come up.”

“Okay. Okay, you can see the future. Sure. Fine. Why not. This might as well happen.” He stared at the ceiling. “Is that… related? To the morality switch? So you can know what to do? Or is that just- _a thing you can do?”_

Brian was silent for a long few seconds. “I’m not sure,” he admitted quietly. “I… can’t remember much of anything, before I was like this.”

Oh. Marius was no _actual_ expert in anything, but he knew a sensitive subject when he heard one. “So,” he said quickly, “uh, what about loopholes for _that_ setting? Can you still get around it?”

He seemed to need a few seconds to regather his thoughts, which Marius was content to allow him, as long as he wasn’t getting sad again. “Well… it’s always good to make my friends happy, right?”

Marius raised his eyebrows. “Judging by the others’ behavior, they don’t seem to understand how much their ability to get anywhere half the time depends on whether or not you like them.”

Brian actually smirked. It was difficult to see how he was able to do that with a metal face. “Exactly. If I were to decide they _weren’t_ my friends, I would simply strand us all in the middle of space to keep them from doing any more damage until someone snuck up on me well enough to flip the switch back. But right now, for instance, I would probably still be having the same conversation with you no matter which setting I was on.”

Marius pretended very hard to take a long drink from his empty mug, and it probably didn’t even hide the sudden reddening of his face. “Right,” he said, giving up and putting it back down on the table. “Sure. Why don’t you- tell me more about that, uh, prophecy thing? Can you do it on purpose or does it just sort of happen?”

“Oh, you’re out of cocoa,” Brian noted, and he _sounded_ innocent enough, but Marius flushed darker regardless. “I’ll make some more if we’re going to keep talking, hang on.”

He only nodded, deciding it might be a good idea to try and keep his mouth _shut_ for a little while so he wouldn’t embarrass himself even more. Not that he’d ever been very good at that, but it was worth a try. Besides, just listening to Brian talk wasn’t so bad. Marius was beginning to rather like him after all.


End file.
